Trusting and Following

Yay!  We are now officially active with both agencies that we're working with!  In the last post I explained about the delay with one agency because of missing paperwork.  The day that post was made public I received confirmation from the agency that the paperwork had been received!  Usually, at that point the agency has their social workers review our home study and make sure everything looks good to them before they start to match us, but they said because of the confusion with the paperwork that they would go ahead and consider us active while that step was being done!  It has since been done and we received another confirmation via a letter in the mail that everything was good to go!

Since then, we're waiting.  Some of you have asked about the process at this point, and what exactly we're waiting for.  One of our agencies will call us when they have an "available situation" that they think we are a good match for.   The other agency has a password protected web page that we were told to check.  When they have available situations they post the race and gender (if known) of the baby, and the due date and fees that apply with each situation.  If we are interested, we contact the case worker for more details and decide if we would like to be presented to the birth mother.  In both cases, the birth mothers look at portfolios from different families and makes a decision about who she would like to adopt the child.  (Both of our agencies right now have a large number of families waiting to adopt and have not had many birth mothers at this time.)  When the birth mother makes a decision we will get a call to let us know if we have or haven't been picked.  If we are picked a phone conversation is arranged between us and the birth mother and the rest of the journey goes from there. 

Waiting is hard.  Especially in the case of the one agency when I have the ability to check and see if there is anything on the web page.  I put a shortcut on the home screen of my phone to make it easier, which of course means I push the button about 10 times per minute it feels like!  Until Saturday, nothing at all had be posted there. 

We have been presented with some options that we have decided to decline.  This sounds crazy because we are very anxious and want to be presented to as many birth moms as possible!  We are extremely flexible and open to most situations that may come available, but there are a few details that we just aren't comfortable with.  We want to be careful.  We are praying constantly to follow God's plan for us during this time.  We want to be sure to not turn away and be closed off to something just because it's not perfectly comfortable for us.  We've learned that God often calls us out of our comfort zone for His purposes!  We don't want to be disobedient to something He is calling us to.  However, we also don't want to jump into a situation that isn't right for us and our family simply because we are anxious and impatient.  We want to make sure that the future will be stable and safe for baby.  We are praying for God's direction when we make these extremely difficult decisions and trust that He knows the plans He has for us.  We just want to be faithful to follow where He leads.

I hesitate to say publicly when we are being presented just because there are MANY people being presented to the same birth mother.  It's easy to get our hopes up and get excited about even the smallest possibility.  But we want to inform our family and friends so you guys can pray for us and the birth mothers and babies that we are told about.  With that being said, we are being presented this week to a birth mother who is pretty far away.  We were told so much information about the birth mother; her family, her thoughts, physical characteristics, hobbies, past and current living situations, how/where she grew up, and health information, as well as a little information that is known about the birth father.  I was surprised about the amount of information that was given to us, but thankful.  Even though the information at times is disturbing and honestly unnecessary as we aren't picky about what baby we will call ours, it's nice to be informed and to know that this case worker is thorough and has a relationship with this birth mother.  We told the case worker that we were interested in being presented to this birth mother as possible adoptive parents.  The birth mother had said that she was looking for a couple who couldn't have biological children, who were christian and would raise the child in a christian environment, and who would give the child opportunities to play sports growing up!  Wow!  We seem to have exactly what she's looking for as far as those things go!  As I said before, many profiles will be given to her to pick from, probably between 15-20.  It's easy to get excited and to think about what if this will be our baby, but we understand the situation and the process and take comfort in knowing that if God has chosen this baby for us, it will happen, but if not, it won't. 

We are learning more than ever how to trust and be faithful and that, as cliche as it sounds, God really is in control.  I know I say it in about every post, but we have to cling to that reality right now.  I am the kind of girl who likes to have everything planned out, at least the important things anyway.  Money, nursery furniture and design, clothes, supplies, etc...everything that needed to be would be prepared before baby got here if I were pregnant and had my say!  (I know even with pregnancy things don't always go as planned, but you get what I mean!)  With adoption, it's not always that way.  IF this particular situation were to be a match, there are a lot of things we have to figure out.  The fees this adoption will cost is more than what we had originally anticipated.  When thinking about a timeline of adoption fees and normal bills and when our next paychecks will arrive, it's hard not to get worried.  We are also looking at a LOT of travel expenses as far as airline tickets there and back (with baby items to check), and food and lodging for up to 2 weeks!  We also understand that there is a possibility for the birth mother to change her mind after we are there, meaning a lot of money for airline tickets and broken hearts if we returned without a baby.  Not to mention the cost of baby stuff that we don't have yet.  It's been suggested to us and we've chosen not to buy anything for baby yet due to not knowing when we will have a baby, whether it will be a he or a she, etc.  We discussed going ahead and getting a crib, dresser, and rocker to at least have that here when we get home, but at this time it looks like we need to keep all money we can in our account to cover adoption fees and travel expenses.  Aside from expenses, we need to figure out a lot of other things.  For example, how to stay in a hotel with a newborn for 2 weeks and then how to fly home with an infant!  (If anyone has any tips, we're open to hearing them! :) )We are also faced with being away from our jobs for a long while (but not knowing when that might be) and preparing for our students to be taken care of while we're gone!  There are so many things we'd like to prepare now, but can't.  When I start thinking about some of these things I feel silly, like I'm getting way ahead of myself since we don't yet have a baby.  But at the same time we are expecting at some point and I feel so far behind!

Yes, this is a lot of personal stuff to share.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed and worried about the future, especially when you're used to planning the important things ahead of time!  But I am finding more and more that God is teaching us and reassuring us each and every day.  While all of the unknowns are scary and seem like such big things, God really is giving us a peace about them.  They are all such small things for Him.  We know that when the situation is right, we need to follow and trust that He will work all things out for His glory.   

Thank you, again, for your support!  Your prayers mean so much to us!  Continue to pray for the birth mothers, and specifically this one, who is deciding in the weeks to come who she would like to raise a child she is carrying.  Pray for God to give us wisdom and guidance during this time as we make important and often difficult decisions about the adoption and the future.  Pray that we are faithful to trust and follow through each step of this journey.

Planned Set-Backs and Overwhelming Support

I'm sorry it's been so long since we updated you guys!  A lot of people have asked about how things are going!  The fundraiser event was 2 weeks ago and it was amazing!  Attendance was a little lower than it would have been had we held the event on a weekend.  Even though we missed some of you, we totally understand!  We decided to have the event on a week day because we were able to rent the venue for an extremely generous discount thanks to Ms. Sharon Osbourne who was so sweet to help us make this night a success!  We did have lots of family and friends attend and had a great night!  I could never thank everyone enough; from Pam Simpson who prepared all of the delicious food and the group of women who helped her serve, to those who donated items for the auction and everyone who came to show support through prayers, words of encouragement, and monetary donations!  Here are just a few pictures from the night!

 

Tyler and I were overwhelmed all through the night by the encouragement and support that was all around us!  We were able to raise a substantial amount to put in our Baby King account!  We have been blessed with so much that we don't deserve and are so thankful for everything!

Tyler and I both received 3 paychecks in 3 days right around the date of the event.  (This is the way we receive payment through the summer months and for the first months once school starts back.)  After our paychecks were deposited and we deposited the generous donations from the fundraising event, our account showed that we had enough money to show our "proof of funds" to our other agency so that they can begin to match us with a child!  We are so excited to have reached this point!  We are still unsure of what this means for the future...  The agency will see our account balance and begin to match us because we have the amount they will require.  However, they don't know that we do not get paid again until October!  That being said, if we were to be placed with a child before that point and write a check for the fees, we don't necessarily have the funds at this time to purchase things the baby will need, pay fees for post-placement visitations, and pay bills.  While we're unsure of how everything will work out depending on timing of paychecks and a possible placement, we aren't worried.  I feel like we've been pretty open about the financial part of this journey, and I've done that on purpose.  Some people we know and many we don't know have commented and gotten in touch with me and have said they've found our blog through a google search or heard from someone else.  For those people and others who are interested in adoption, I want to share just one story of how it is working for us.  When we began this journey, and still today, we've had lots of questions about the process.  It helped so much to talk to people who had already gone through what we were beginning.  I know every single family and situation is different, but God has provided so much throughout this whole process and we know that he has been in control of every step.  While the financial aspect of adoption is one of the most uneasy parts, it might be encouraging for others to see how two teachers have been blessed by God and so many others who have made this possible.  So, while we're still unsure of exactly how the finances will work out through the end of the adoption process and into the beginning of this new chapter in our lives as parents, we trust God and take comfort in knowing that He is leading this path for us to take.

So anyway, we were SO excited to fax our account statement to the other agency.  I had called several times in the last month and a half to confirm that a "proof of funds" was all we needed to provide in order to become active with this agency as we are already with the other.  I faxed this on Monday after the event.  On Wednesday while at BFG, I was excited when the agency came up on the caller id.  But I was very frustrated and discouraged when the lady I talked with informed me that they had received our account statement, and now they were waiting on one friend reference letter, medical references/physicals for both of us, certified and notarized copies of each of our birth certificates and our marriage license.  What?  Surely this was wrong.  These are all pieces of information that had been handled months ago along with our home study and we'd already received confirmation that this agency had everything else they needed.  Needless to say, something went wrong, as this lady couldn't find these documents in our file.  The social worker who did our home study was quick to start working on sending over copies of the couple of documents that she had (and was diligent in tracking down a correct email address when the one I was given over the phone was wrong)!  (By the way, she has been amazing throughout this process!  She has answered so many questions and helped with so many things, including sending copies of documents quickly to our agencies on several occasions!  Thank you SOO much Leigh!  She is at Heart to Home Adoptions in Lexington, KY if anyone is looking for a great person to work with to complete an adoption!)  And I sent our original certified copies of birth certificates and marriage license the next day (and still need to order more for our records)!  That was one week ago tomorrow.  I have called and left a message asking for confirmation ASAP that all documents have been received and am waiting to hear. 

As funny as it sounds, we've been encouraged to hear about things that seem like set-backs from others who have adopted.  A couple told us about confusions that happened when they spoke with someone in a foreign country when adopting their boys who were talking about the wrong children and flights that had to be booked and childcare arrangements that had to be made within 24 hrs!  Even though it's frustrating to be taking care of things now that we thought were already taken care of, and things that could have easily been handled months ago, we know this is part of the plan. 

Please pray that our documents arrive quickly and safely to our agency and that there are no more confusion or miscommunication issues.  We are so ready to begin being matched by that agency, too, as we are getting very anxious at this point!  Pray for our agencies as they work with birth mothers who are deciding they are unable to keep and raise the children they are carrying and match them with adoptive parents who are waiting.  Pray for our child, wherever he or she may be.  Continue to pray for our financial situation as we work to budget the money we have for the next several months.  Pray for us as we anxiously wait for the call from an agency who has a child who needs a home!

And again, THANK YOU for coming along with us on this journey!  We seriously can not wait to introduce you to Baby King who YOU helped to bring home with your prayers and support!  We love each and every one of you!