We will be hitting the road and returning home early. The birthmother that has been in contact with our agency is no longer returning calls. She has decided not to place her baby for adoption and possibly never planned to place at all.
We are obviously disappointed and so heartbroken. Please pray for these birth parents and this baby girl in North Carolina. It hurts us to realize that the parents could be using their daughter to manipulate others and get money. Pray that this baby has a loving bond with someone who will take care of her.
While this is hard to experience, we know there is a reason, even if we don't understand. We are so thankful for our adoption agency, Graceful Adoptions in Iowa. They have worked so hard this past week to support the birthmother, but also to look out for us and to protect the funds we've raised and saved for an adoption. Although we've had travel expenses, our financial loss has been so small compared to what often happens in a disruption situation. We are grateful for the work they are doing to bring adoptive and birth parents together in a God-glorifying way.
Please pray for this family and for us as God shows us His plans. We are so thankful for all of you. Your support and prayers have been overwhelming.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Friday, July 25, 2014
MATCHED!
We are excited to share an update on our adoption!
Yesterday, I received a call from our adoption agency in Iowa. We were talking about and finalizing our family profiles. We talked for a bit about some changes that may be taking place, and the fact that if we were going to complete a domestic adoption in this way, it would need to happen quickly. We already knew that a match doesn't usually happen quickly for Caucasian couples who have biological children. But we also know that we are not in control of what happens. The director of the agency reminded me that they don't make the decisions, they just wait for what God has planned. We decided to make our profile "live" and become active and see what happens....
I got a call THIS morning from another lady from our agency. They had gotten a call this morning from a birthmother who has a two week old baby girl that she has decided she needs to place for adoption. I was told that the birthmother likes reading, writing, cooking, and sports...if you know us, you know this fits! She requested a stay-at-home mom. Despite attempting to take another position through the summer, God has seen fit for it not to happen. As of now I am, for the first time, a stay-at-home mommy. The most AMAZING request was that she was looking for a Caucasian couple who has children! This almost never happens! After presenting us to the birthmother, I received a call quickly after to say that she had selected us to adopt her child!
As of now, things are happening quickly! We have felt SO many emotions all at once! We are surprised and excited and uneasy and scared and worried and oh so happy! We will be traveling out of state in the next 1-3 days, where we will stay for up to 10 days (or maybe a little longer). Since this is a last minute situation, there is a lot of paperwork from a lot of different people that needs to be gathered and completed, along with many other steps in the process. We all want them to happen as quickly as possible, but realize that it will take some time.
Right now we are making some arrangements for leaving town and working on gathering the very large amount of funds that will be required in the next couple of days. Although we are so excited, there is SO much that we are unsure of right now. We don't know how a lot of things are going to work out, but we are once again amazed at how God is working and showing us that He is in control.
We need your prayers! Until everything is finalized, the decision isn't final. Please pray for this baby girl and her birthmother who is making a selfless and brave decision that is unimaginably hard! Pray for us as we prepare to leave our little guy during this time to travel out of state. I have only ever spent one night away from him in his 16 months of life! Pray for us as we adjust quickly to being parents of two blessings and for us to bond quickly with this new baby. Please pray for our funds and financial situation for this adoption. We began fundraising over 2 years ago, and although a very small amount has been used for small fees up to this point, there is still a little left. We are SO thankful for this money that was so graciously given to bring Baby King home years ago, and excited that it is happening! But we are in need of a lot more in just a couple of days. We have no doubt that if God has planned for this child to be a part of our family than it will all be made clear! If you would like to donate at this time to help bring Baby King home, you can follow our link on the upper right side of this blog to our PayPal account to make a donation, or contact us directly. We are more thankful than we could ever say for your prayers and support and are SO excited!!! Thank you so much for supporting us through this journey!
Yesterday, I received a call from our adoption agency in Iowa. We were talking about and finalizing our family profiles. We talked for a bit about some changes that may be taking place, and the fact that if we were going to complete a domestic adoption in this way, it would need to happen quickly. We already knew that a match doesn't usually happen quickly for Caucasian couples who have biological children. But we also know that we are not in control of what happens. The director of the agency reminded me that they don't make the decisions, they just wait for what God has planned. We decided to make our profile "live" and become active and see what happens....
I got a call THIS morning from another lady from our agency. They had gotten a call this morning from a birthmother who has a two week old baby girl that she has decided she needs to place for adoption. I was told that the birthmother likes reading, writing, cooking, and sports...if you know us, you know this fits! She requested a stay-at-home mom. Despite attempting to take another position through the summer, God has seen fit for it not to happen. As of now I am, for the first time, a stay-at-home mommy. The most AMAZING request was that she was looking for a Caucasian couple who has children! This almost never happens! After presenting us to the birthmother, I received a call quickly after to say that she had selected us to adopt her child!
As of now, things are happening quickly! We have felt SO many emotions all at once! We are surprised and excited and uneasy and scared and worried and oh so happy! We will be traveling out of state in the next 1-3 days, where we will stay for up to 10 days (or maybe a little longer). Since this is a last minute situation, there is a lot of paperwork from a lot of different people that needs to be gathered and completed, along with many other steps in the process. We all want them to happen as quickly as possible, but realize that it will take some time.
Right now we are making some arrangements for leaving town and working on gathering the very large amount of funds that will be required in the next couple of days. Although we are so excited, there is SO much that we are unsure of right now. We don't know how a lot of things are going to work out, but we are once again amazed at how God is working and showing us that He is in control.
We need your prayers! Until everything is finalized, the decision isn't final. Please pray for this baby girl and her birthmother who is making a selfless and brave decision that is unimaginably hard! Pray for us as we prepare to leave our little guy during this time to travel out of state. I have only ever spent one night away from him in his 16 months of life! Pray for us as we adjust quickly to being parents of two blessings and for us to bond quickly with this new baby. Please pray for our funds and financial situation for this adoption. We began fundraising over 2 years ago, and although a very small amount has been used for small fees up to this point, there is still a little left. We are SO thankful for this money that was so graciously given to bring Baby King home years ago, and excited that it is happening! But we are in need of a lot more in just a couple of days. We have no doubt that if God has planned for this child to be a part of our family than it will all be made clear! If you would like to donate at this time to help bring Baby King home, you can follow our link on the upper right side of this blog to our PayPal account to make a donation, or contact us directly. We are more thankful than we could ever say for your prayers and support and are SO excited!!! Thank you so much for supporting us through this journey!
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Update
For the past month and a half I have been working on typing a lot of information and submitting pictures for our family profiles. We have told information about us as individuals and as a couple, our immediate family, our extended family, our neighborhood and community, things we value and think are important to teach our children, what we do for fun, how and where we spend holidays and vacations, and lots more! We have also submitted pictures to show all of these things and another fee.
I am so excited to have these things submitted. The next step will be for our agency to begin putting our profiles together so they are ready to be presented to birthmothers. We may still have some edits to make before they are completed, but once they are finished we will be able to be presented to birthmothers who are planning to place their babies or children for adoption.
During this time we have been presented with a few other situations with babies and children that were, or would be, placed for adoption. Although the two agencies that will work with us primarily to find a placement anywhere in the country, our home study agency often forwards some situations from other contacts she has around the country, or from birthmothers who are in Kentucky that are working directly with her. Tyler and I have no preference of gender or race of a child we will welcome into our family. For now we are more comfortable with a child who is younger than Grayson at the time of the adoption, but are open to considering situations that involve children of other ages on a case by case basis. Over the past month we have been informed of some situations involving children who are African American, Caucasian, and biracial, boys and girls, some with special needs and some who are "healthy," and ranging in age from pre-birth to 2 years old. For some of these situations we would have a very high risk of losing $20,000, or more, and we don't feel like this would be a risk we are able to take at this point. Another situation with a 2 year old boy would not accept adoptive parents from Kentucky because of additional laws. We were presented to a birthmother the day she had her baby girl. She was very sweet and in the end made the decision to parent her child. Leigh said this was the best possible outcome and, although we would have been so excited to welcome the baby girl into our family, we praise God that she has the opportunity to know and be raised by her birthmother.
We are looking forward to our profiles being finished and becoming "active" with our other agencies. We are also figuring out and praying about the large portion of our adoption costs that will need to be available at the time that we do have a match.
God is teaching us so much right now. Right now there are a lot of unknowns for us, some related to adoption and others not. God is teaching us to persevere, and more than anything, to trust and have faith in Him and His plans. We know that God's plans are perfect and our hope is that whatever happens in our lives will bring Him glory. We are so excited and anxious to meet baby King when the day comes and to see how God is working other things out, too. We continue to pray for that time to come quickly!
I am so excited to have these things submitted. The next step will be for our agency to begin putting our profiles together so they are ready to be presented to birthmothers. We may still have some edits to make before they are completed, but once they are finished we will be able to be presented to birthmothers who are planning to place their babies or children for adoption.
During this time we have been presented with a few other situations with babies and children that were, or would be, placed for adoption. Although the two agencies that will work with us primarily to find a placement anywhere in the country, our home study agency often forwards some situations from other contacts she has around the country, or from birthmothers who are in Kentucky that are working directly with her. Tyler and I have no preference of gender or race of a child we will welcome into our family. For now we are more comfortable with a child who is younger than Grayson at the time of the adoption, but are open to considering situations that involve children of other ages on a case by case basis. Over the past month we have been informed of some situations involving children who are African American, Caucasian, and biracial, boys and girls, some with special needs and some who are "healthy," and ranging in age from pre-birth to 2 years old. For some of these situations we would have a very high risk of losing $20,000, or more, and we don't feel like this would be a risk we are able to take at this point. Another situation with a 2 year old boy would not accept adoptive parents from Kentucky because of additional laws. We were presented to a birthmother the day she had her baby girl. She was very sweet and in the end made the decision to parent her child. Leigh said this was the best possible outcome and, although we would have been so excited to welcome the baby girl into our family, we praise God that she has the opportunity to know and be raised by her birthmother.
We are looking forward to our profiles being finished and becoming "active" with our other agencies. We are also figuring out and praying about the large portion of our adoption costs that will need to be available at the time that we do have a match.
God is teaching us so much right now. Right now there are a lot of unknowns for us, some related to adoption and others not. God is teaching us to persevere, and more than anything, to trust and have faith in Him and His plans. We know that God's plans are perfect and our hope is that whatever happens in our lives will bring Him glory. We are so excited and anxious to meet baby King when the day comes and to see how God is working other things out, too. We continue to pray for that time to come quickly!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Home Study Update: Complete and Sent!
Well, the home study update has taken a bit longer than we expected. We are thankful that the process was much simpler this time around since we have already completed a home study. Most of the background checks were completed and processed quickly, and the visit from our home study agency was also scheduled and completed quickly. It was great to catch up with Leigh from Heart-to-Home Adoptions and introduce her to our sweet miracle baby! However, the process was held up by one background check that took several weeks to process.
Once our home study update was finished, there was a bit of confusion with getting it sent to the agencies we will be working with. Even though I thought it had been sent and was waiting for a call from the agency to begin moving forward, I found out 3 weeks later that they still hadn't received it. Once we figured it out the problem was resolved quickly.
Our next step with this new agency will be a phone interview with the service director that will last about an hour and a half. The objective of the interview is for them to obtain a better understanding of our preparedness for the adoption process, as well as determine if we think we are a good fit to work together. This interview will take place tomorrow afternoon. Tyler and I will talk to the service director together on speaker phone (so Grayson will probably chime in, too)!
We are excited to be moving forward. Sometimes I'm tempted to think that we are now behind and that we could have moved forward weeks ago if there wasn't confusion. We pray daily for the child that will one day be part of our family. We're so anxious to meet him or her and the process can be long and at times frustrating. But then I find peace in remembering that God knows our child, and that he is working each step of this process according to His plan and for His glory. What an awesome God we serve!
Thank you for your continued prayers for our family, and birthmothers and adoptive parents all over the world!
Once our home study update was finished, there was a bit of confusion with getting it sent to the agencies we will be working with. Even though I thought it had been sent and was waiting for a call from the agency to begin moving forward, I found out 3 weeks later that they still hadn't received it. Once we figured it out the problem was resolved quickly.
Our next step with this new agency will be a phone interview with the service director that will last about an hour and a half. The objective of the interview is for them to obtain a better understanding of our preparedness for the adoption process, as well as determine if we think we are a good fit to work together. This interview will take place tomorrow afternoon. Tyler and I will talk to the service director together on speaker phone (so Grayson will probably chime in, too)!
We are excited to be moving forward. Sometimes I'm tempted to think that we are now behind and that we could have moved forward weeks ago if there wasn't confusion. We pray daily for the child that will one day be part of our family. We're so anxious to meet him or her and the process can be long and at times frustrating. But then I find peace in remembering that God knows our child, and that he is working each step of this process according to His plan and for His glory. What an awesome God we serve!
Thank you for your continued prayers for our family, and birthmothers and adoptive parents all over the world!
Monday, January 20, 2014
Moving Forward
I can't believe so much time has passed since we made the announcement to our friends and families that we were expecting a miracle baby!
To catch us up just a little: My pregnancy was so wonderful! I was high-risk from the beginning because of pre-existing health conditions. As a result, I had SO many appointments...lots of ultrasounds, non-stress tests, meticulous log-keeping for weekly reviews, and lots of other things to keep track of our baby boy. I had a wonderful team of doctors to help make sure our baby and I were healthy and growing the way we should! Aside from a couple of unexpected (and overall minor) things, my pregnancy went so great! I felt wonderful. I couldn't possibly explain the joy I felt during my pregnancy. Seeing his little body on the screen, feeling him kicking and moving, and listening a couple of times a week to his sweet heartbeat coming from inside of me were some of the best experiences of my life! I was told all along by my OBGYN that if I made it to 39 weeks, he didn't want me to go much passed that point since I was at a higher risk for complications that could occur later in the pregnancy. When I got to that point my doctor told me it was time to get the baby here because of some issues that weren't harmful to the baby yet, but could possibly become dangerous. He scheduled me to arrive at the hospital at 9:00pm on Monday night to begin induction. At about 12am Monday morning I began having irregular contractions. When I got to the hospital at about 10:30am I was about 9 1/2 centimeters dialated! At 2:16pm on March 11, 2013 we welcomed Grayson to the world! He was 7lbs 5oz, 20.5 inches long, and the most amazing thing I had ever seen! I loved being pregnant and am so thankful to have been able to experience such an incredible miracle as pregnancy and childbirth that was supposed to be impossible!
After considering many things about the situation and spending a lot of time in prayer, we felt that we needed to put the adoption on hold until after Grayson was born. Due to the nature of this kind of domestic adoption, it was very unlikely that a birthmom would chose to place her child with a couple who were expecting at the time, or with a couple who would have a very young child. It was recommended to us by one of the adoption agencies to wait until Grayson was 1 year old to begin again. I remember when they said that thinking of how long away that seemed! While we were ecstatic about our biological child I was carrying, our hearts still ached for the child or children we had been working to adopt! But, as we had been shown so many times, we knew God's timing is perfect.
Some people would expect that after being able to parent our biological child that our desire to adopt might not be so strong, but in fact the opposite is true. With our own son here with us, our eyes are opened even more to the reality of the millions of orphans around the world who are without a family. And so we've continued to pray and have kept our hearts open to God's timing and call. Grayson is now 10 months old and we have recently started taking the first steps to begin the process to adopt again! We have made some phone calls to one adoption agency we worked with before and to a new one we hope to begin working with this time. We have contacted the social worker from Heart-to-Home adoptions to see what steps we need to take to update our home study that has expired. In the last two weeks we have recieved and completed the beginning paperwork for the home study update. We have gotten fingerprints done, several other background checks have been completed again, physicals for both of us and Grayson have been done, and our home study visit took place earlier today! At this point we are waiting for one letter from HR where Tyler works. Once that is done and sent our home study update should be almost complete.
Once our home study is complete, we plan to work with two adoption agencies. We will begin the application process with the new agency and send our updated home study to one of the agencies we worked with before. Soon we will begin creating new family profiles that will be presented to birthmothers who are looking for adoptive couples to place children with. Then we will go from there...
Throughout the last several years we have been so grateful for your support and prayers through our issues with infertitlity, to beginning the adoption process, and then through the birth of our biological child. We hope that you will join us in praying for our adoption as we begin again. There are many things you can specifically pray for at this time. Please pray for the decisions that have to made at this time regarding the agencies we will be working with. Finances are a big part of this decision and process. We want to be faithful that God will provide the means needed to adopt how and when He plans, and at the same time we want to make the decisions that will allow us to be responsible with the finances that will be required at different times throughout the process. Since we are beginning again, a lot of the fees that we have right now are ones we paid before (background checks, application fees, home study updates, creating new family profiles, etc.) and need to be done again. Please also pray for our patience during this time and that we always remember that God is in control. This time around is different for obvious reasons. The timeline for a completed adoption could be significantly longer than it would've been for us before. When birthmoms are looking for families to place children with, couples without children will be picked first, then couples with other adopted children, and couples who have biological children are often picked last. Since Grayson and I are blonde, we are told that will also cause us to be picked even later. Even once we are active with the adoption agencies it is likely to take several years to be matched with a child. This can be discouraging and overwhelming to think about. God has proven to us already that we don't always see or understand His plans clearly, but that His timing is perfect. Even though we can be impatient we know that God already knows the child we are to adopt and when we will adopt him or her. Pray that we will follow Him faithfully during this time, trusting that He is leading the way, no matter how long it may take.
We are overwhelmed and yet so excited to be moving forward with our adoption at this time! We are so thankful for the unbelievable support that our friends and family have been to us the past several years and are so excited about the day we will be able to tell our child about how you all helped us to bring him or her home! Thank you!
To catch us up just a little: My pregnancy was so wonderful! I was high-risk from the beginning because of pre-existing health conditions. As a result, I had SO many appointments...lots of ultrasounds, non-stress tests, meticulous log-keeping for weekly reviews, and lots of other things to keep track of our baby boy. I had a wonderful team of doctors to help make sure our baby and I were healthy and growing the way we should! Aside from a couple of unexpected (and overall minor) things, my pregnancy went so great! I felt wonderful. I couldn't possibly explain the joy I felt during my pregnancy. Seeing his little body on the screen, feeling him kicking and moving, and listening a couple of times a week to his sweet heartbeat coming from inside of me were some of the best experiences of my life! I was told all along by my OBGYN that if I made it to 39 weeks, he didn't want me to go much passed that point since I was at a higher risk for complications that could occur later in the pregnancy. When I got to that point my doctor told me it was time to get the baby here because of some issues that weren't harmful to the baby yet, but could possibly become dangerous. He scheduled me to arrive at the hospital at 9:00pm on Monday night to begin induction. At about 12am Monday morning I began having irregular contractions. When I got to the hospital at about 10:30am I was about 9 1/2 centimeters dialated! At 2:16pm on March 11, 2013 we welcomed Grayson to the world! He was 7lbs 5oz, 20.5 inches long, and the most amazing thing I had ever seen! I loved being pregnant and am so thankful to have been able to experience such an incredible miracle as pregnancy and childbirth that was supposed to be impossible!
After considering many things about the situation and spending a lot of time in prayer, we felt that we needed to put the adoption on hold until after Grayson was born. Due to the nature of this kind of domestic adoption, it was very unlikely that a birthmom would chose to place her child with a couple who were expecting at the time, or with a couple who would have a very young child. It was recommended to us by one of the adoption agencies to wait until Grayson was 1 year old to begin again. I remember when they said that thinking of how long away that seemed! While we were ecstatic about our biological child I was carrying, our hearts still ached for the child or children we had been working to adopt! But, as we had been shown so many times, we knew God's timing is perfect.
Some people would expect that after being able to parent our biological child that our desire to adopt might not be so strong, but in fact the opposite is true. With our own son here with us, our eyes are opened even more to the reality of the millions of orphans around the world who are without a family. And so we've continued to pray and have kept our hearts open to God's timing and call. Grayson is now 10 months old and we have recently started taking the first steps to begin the process to adopt again! We have made some phone calls to one adoption agency we worked with before and to a new one we hope to begin working with this time. We have contacted the social worker from Heart-to-Home adoptions to see what steps we need to take to update our home study that has expired. In the last two weeks we have recieved and completed the beginning paperwork for the home study update. We have gotten fingerprints done, several other background checks have been completed again, physicals for both of us and Grayson have been done, and our home study visit took place earlier today! At this point we are waiting for one letter from HR where Tyler works. Once that is done and sent our home study update should be almost complete.
Once our home study is complete, we plan to work with two adoption agencies. We will begin the application process with the new agency and send our updated home study to one of the agencies we worked with before. Soon we will begin creating new family profiles that will be presented to birthmothers who are looking for adoptive couples to place children with. Then we will go from there...
Throughout the last several years we have been so grateful for your support and prayers through our issues with infertitlity, to beginning the adoption process, and then through the birth of our biological child. We hope that you will join us in praying for our adoption as we begin again. There are many things you can specifically pray for at this time. Please pray for the decisions that have to made at this time regarding the agencies we will be working with. Finances are a big part of this decision and process. We want to be faithful that God will provide the means needed to adopt how and when He plans, and at the same time we want to make the decisions that will allow us to be responsible with the finances that will be required at different times throughout the process. Since we are beginning again, a lot of the fees that we have right now are ones we paid before (background checks, application fees, home study updates, creating new family profiles, etc.) and need to be done again. Please also pray for our patience during this time and that we always remember that God is in control. This time around is different for obvious reasons. The timeline for a completed adoption could be significantly longer than it would've been for us before. When birthmoms are looking for families to place children with, couples without children will be picked first, then couples with other adopted children, and couples who have biological children are often picked last. Since Grayson and I are blonde, we are told that will also cause us to be picked even later. Even once we are active with the adoption agencies it is likely to take several years to be matched with a child. This can be discouraging and overwhelming to think about. God has proven to us already that we don't always see or understand His plans clearly, but that His timing is perfect. Even though we can be impatient we know that God already knows the child we are to adopt and when we will adopt him or her. Pray that we will follow Him faithfully during this time, trusting that He is leading the way, no matter how long it may take.
We are overwhelmed and yet so excited to be moving forward with our adoption at this time! We are so thankful for the unbelievable support that our friends and family have been to us the past several years and are so excited about the day we will be able to tell our child about how you all helped us to bring him or her home! Thank you!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Unexpected Blessing!
It's been a while since we've updated our blog. There's a reason for that. We've been praying and waiting on God to reveal His plan at this time. Again, we've been taken by surprise and seen that our plans don't always go the way we think they are going to go. With that being said, we are ready to let you know about our current situation.
We are expecting to have a baby in March.
That's right: WE are expecting to HAVE (as in deliver) a baby. Marie is pregnant!!!!
To say this is unexpected is such an understatement. We've told only a few people up until this point, but someone looked at us with a look as confused as we felt at first and said, "But...I don't understand. I thought it was medically impossible?!" To which we responded, "Well, it was medically impossible. But nothing is impossible with God!" We hadn't been trying to conceive a really long time yet when we met with the Reproductive Endocrinologist back in December who discussed some findings of a test that had been done. Even in his words he said, "In my line of work I don't use the word 'impossible', but if I did, I'd definitely say it now."
All babies are miracles. Conception is a miraculous thing. And this one is just that: miraculous! It is NOT because we started adopting and weren't "stressed" about conceiving. It is NOT because we relaxed. The fact is that the necessary components needed for conception were not there! There is no doubt that this is a blessing straight from God! Even after the shocking news that we would likely never conceive naturally, we knew that God can work miracles. We knew that maybe one day we might be blessed with a biological child. But we NEVER expected it to happen now!
We are extremely excited and overjoyed about this gift and the opportunity to carry a biological child! It is an amazing thing that has been hard to wrap our heads around. At times we have been SO scared and nervous about something going wrong. But we are trusting that God has a plan for us and this baby.
Marie is almost 11 weeks pregnant! She has had two appointments so far. We were able to see the baby and the heartbeat at 7 weeks, and Marie got to hear the heartbeat at 10.5 weeks! It is such an amazing thing, especially when it's something we were told we would likely never get to experience! Both times the heartbeat was very strong and everything looks great so far! We were going to wait a little longer to tell everyone, but Marie's OB/GYN said at this point our risk for miscarriage is very low, and she encouraged us to go ahead and tell and enjoy the excitement.
With all of that being said, we realize this is not a typical announcement to just say we're pregnant! We have had SO much unbelievable support from our friends and family to help us adopt and bring home Baby King! While this pregnancy obviously changes things, in a way it doesn't. We said from the beginning that we always have wanted and planned to adopt. Our choice to adopt didn't come after we were told we couldn't have biological children. Our hearts remain the same on this issue. We want to adopt. We love this baby growing in Marie SO much already, but we also love the Baby King (or Kings?) we will adopt one day, the one you've joined us in praying for throughout this process. I've said it before, it really is hard to understand how much we love children we've never met! But we do, those that are biological and those that are not.
At this time, we will continue to pray and be open for God's will for our family. Right now, we are still active with our agencies. (On another note, we may have to drop one agency we are working with. They have increased their fees so much that at this time we are going to be unable to afford what they are requiring to adopt through them.) There is a lot to consider when thinking about when we can adopt. We've always wanted children close in age anyway, so maybe it will work out like that! But we also have to take into account that we will be managing a high risk pregnancy and working hard to keep Marie as healthy as possible and off of bed rest. Also, since we are working with agencies and doing domestic adoption, you know that the birth mothers will pick who they will give their children to. We expect that when they find that we are pregnant at this time, they might choose others who are waiting to become adoptive parents who aren't expecting. Because of these issues and others, we realize that we may be unable to adopt before or close to the birth of our biological child.
Obviously, there is a lot to think about and consider. We could analyze everything over and over and over and try to make a plan for our adoption right now. While we know it's smart to think about these things, we also have learned that we are NOT in control!! We know that God has a plan. We are surprised more each day at what might be in store, but we are learning more and more that He knows the plans He has for us. So, we plan to keep our hearts and minds open to what those plans might be. Knowing it may mean a lot of sacrifice and figuring out things to be blessed with two children relatively soon, or it may mean that we don't get to meet our adopted child (or children) for maybe years down the road. It may mean we are meant to do international adoption and not domestic adoption. While we don't know a lot at this time, we DO know that we are thrilled and excited and overwhelmed by this blessing of a biological child, and we know that we love and are excited for the day we will bring a child or children into our home through adoption. We don't know a timeline or an exact plan, and that's okay.
So, now that you know all of that, we have received a lot of money to go toward helping us with an adoption. That money, at this time, has not been spent at all! All adoption expenses that we've had so far have been paid from our money. All donated money has been kept safely in a separate bank account. At this time we'd like to continue with the plan and keep that money in this separate bank account for our adoption, whenever it may happen. We can assure you that the money you've given for adoption will be used for adoption! We do, however, realize that your plan for that money, or at least the timeline, may have changed. If you would like to be given that money back for any reason at all, we are happy to accommodate those wishes. We know some of you have given a great deal, and it may be hard knowing the child may not be here for a while longer than we thought. If for any reason you need or want a donation back, please feel free to contact us. If not, it will be kept in a separate account for adoption expenses at whatever time God shows us!
We are still early on this new journey of pregnancy! Almost through the first trimester but not yet. We ask you to please join us in praying for this miracle baby! We pray that it continues to grow and develop into a healthy baby that we get to hold in March! Pray for health and safety for Marie and Biological Baby King! We would also love if you would continue to pray for our adoption, whenever and however it happens! Pray for birth mothers out there who are delivering children that they will put up for adoption, and for adoptive parents who are waiting to and are meeting their new little ones that they will bring into their homes. As we've said before, your support means the world to us, and we are continuously overwhelmed by the beautiful gracious people God has placed in our lives. Thank you so much, we love you all!!
We are expecting to have a baby in March.
That's right: WE are expecting to HAVE (as in deliver) a baby. Marie is pregnant!!!!
To say this is unexpected is such an understatement. We've told only a few people up until this point, but someone looked at us with a look as confused as we felt at first and said, "But...I don't understand. I thought it was medically impossible?!" To which we responded, "Well, it was medically impossible. But nothing is impossible with God!" We hadn't been trying to conceive a really long time yet when we met with the Reproductive Endocrinologist back in December who discussed some findings of a test that had been done. Even in his words he said, "In my line of work I don't use the word 'impossible', but if I did, I'd definitely say it now."
All babies are miracles. Conception is a miraculous thing. And this one is just that: miraculous! It is NOT because we started adopting and weren't "stressed" about conceiving. It is NOT because we relaxed. The fact is that the necessary components needed for conception were not there! There is no doubt that this is a blessing straight from God! Even after the shocking news that we would likely never conceive naturally, we knew that God can work miracles. We knew that maybe one day we might be blessed with a biological child. But we NEVER expected it to happen now!
We are extremely excited and overjoyed about this gift and the opportunity to carry a biological child! It is an amazing thing that has been hard to wrap our heads around. At times we have been SO scared and nervous about something going wrong. But we are trusting that God has a plan for us and this baby.
Marie is almost 11 weeks pregnant! She has had two appointments so far. We were able to see the baby and the heartbeat at 7 weeks, and Marie got to hear the heartbeat at 10.5 weeks! It is such an amazing thing, especially when it's something we were told we would likely never get to experience! Both times the heartbeat was very strong and everything looks great so far! We were going to wait a little longer to tell everyone, but Marie's OB/GYN said at this point our risk for miscarriage is very low, and she encouraged us to go ahead and tell and enjoy the excitement.
With all of that being said, we realize this is not a typical announcement to just say we're pregnant! We have had SO much unbelievable support from our friends and family to help us adopt and bring home Baby King! While this pregnancy obviously changes things, in a way it doesn't. We said from the beginning that we always have wanted and planned to adopt. Our choice to adopt didn't come after we were told we couldn't have biological children. Our hearts remain the same on this issue. We want to adopt. We love this baby growing in Marie SO much already, but we also love the Baby King (or Kings?) we will adopt one day, the one you've joined us in praying for throughout this process. I've said it before, it really is hard to understand how much we love children we've never met! But we do, those that are biological and those that are not.
At this time, we will continue to pray and be open for God's will for our family. Right now, we are still active with our agencies. (On another note, we may have to drop one agency we are working with. They have increased their fees so much that at this time we are going to be unable to afford what they are requiring to adopt through them.) There is a lot to consider when thinking about when we can adopt. We've always wanted children close in age anyway, so maybe it will work out like that! But we also have to take into account that we will be managing a high risk pregnancy and working hard to keep Marie as healthy as possible and off of bed rest. Also, since we are working with agencies and doing domestic adoption, you know that the birth mothers will pick who they will give their children to. We expect that when they find that we are pregnant at this time, they might choose others who are waiting to become adoptive parents who aren't expecting. Because of these issues and others, we realize that we may be unable to adopt before or close to the birth of our biological child.
Obviously, there is a lot to think about and consider. We could analyze everything over and over and over and try to make a plan for our adoption right now. While we know it's smart to think about these things, we also have learned that we are NOT in control!! We know that God has a plan. We are surprised more each day at what might be in store, but we are learning more and more that He knows the plans He has for us. So, we plan to keep our hearts and minds open to what those plans might be. Knowing it may mean a lot of sacrifice and figuring out things to be blessed with two children relatively soon, or it may mean that we don't get to meet our adopted child (or children) for maybe years down the road. It may mean we are meant to do international adoption and not domestic adoption. While we don't know a lot at this time, we DO know that we are thrilled and excited and overwhelmed by this blessing of a biological child, and we know that we love and are excited for the day we will bring a child or children into our home through adoption. We don't know a timeline or an exact plan, and that's okay.
So, now that you know all of that, we have received a lot of money to go toward helping us with an adoption. That money, at this time, has not been spent at all! All adoption expenses that we've had so far have been paid from our money. All donated money has been kept safely in a separate bank account. At this time we'd like to continue with the plan and keep that money in this separate bank account for our adoption, whenever it may happen. We can assure you that the money you've given for adoption will be used for adoption! We do, however, realize that your plan for that money, or at least the timeline, may have changed. If you would like to be given that money back for any reason at all, we are happy to accommodate those wishes. We know some of you have given a great deal, and it may be hard knowing the child may not be here for a while longer than we thought. If for any reason you need or want a donation back, please feel free to contact us. If not, it will be kept in a separate account for adoption expenses at whatever time God shows us!
We are still early on this new journey of pregnancy! Almost through the first trimester but not yet. We ask you to please join us in praying for this miracle baby! We pray that it continues to grow and develop into a healthy baby that we get to hold in March! Pray for health and safety for Marie and Biological Baby King! We would also love if you would continue to pray for our adoption, whenever and however it happens! Pray for birth mothers out there who are delivering children that they will put up for adoption, and for adoptive parents who are waiting to and are meeting their new little ones that they will bring into their homes. As we've said before, your support means the world to us, and we are continuously overwhelmed by the beautiful gracious people God has placed in our lives. Thank you so much, we love you all!!
Monday, July 23, 2012
Trusting and Following
Yay! We are now officially active with both agencies that we're working with! In the last post I explained about the delay with one agency because of missing paperwork. The day that post was made public I received confirmation from the agency that the paperwork had been received! Usually, at that point the agency has their social workers review our home study and make sure everything looks good to them before they start to match us, but they said because of the confusion with the paperwork that they would go ahead and consider us active while that step was being done! It has since been done and we received another confirmation via a letter in the mail that everything was good to go!
Since then, we're waiting. Some of you have asked about the process at this point, and what exactly we're waiting for. One of our agencies will call us when they have an "available situation" that they think we are a good match for. The other agency has a password protected web page that we were told to check. When they have available situations they post the race and gender (if known) of the baby, and the due date and fees that apply with each situation. If we are interested, we contact the case worker for more details and decide if we would like to be presented to the birth mother. In both cases, the birth mothers look at portfolios from different families and makes a decision about who she would like to adopt the child. (Both of our agencies right now have a large number of families waiting to adopt and have not had many birth mothers at this time.) When the birth mother makes a decision we will get a call to let us know if we have or haven't been picked. If we are picked a phone conversation is arranged between us and the birth mother and the rest of the journey goes from there.
Waiting is hard. Especially in the case of the one agency when I have the ability to check and see if there is anything on the web page. I put a shortcut on the home screen of my phone to make it easier, which of course means I push the button about 10 times per minute it feels like! Until Saturday, nothing at all had be posted there.
We have been presented with some options that we have decided to decline. This sounds crazy because we are very anxious and want to be presented to as many birth moms as possible! We are extremely flexible and open to most situations that may come available, but there are a few details that we just aren't comfortable with. We want to be careful. We are praying constantly to follow God's plan for us during this time. We want to be sure to not turn away and be closed off to something just because it's not perfectly comfortable for us. We've learned that God often calls us out of our comfort zone for His purposes! We don't want to be disobedient to something He is calling us to. However, we also don't want to jump into a situation that isn't right for us and our family simply because we are anxious and impatient. We want to make sure that the future will be stable and safe for baby. We are praying for God's direction when we make these extremely difficult decisions and trust that He knows the plans He has for us. We just want to be faithful to follow where He leads.
I hesitate to say publicly when we are being presented just because there are MANY people being presented to the same birth mother. It's easy to get our hopes up and get excited about even the smallest possibility. But we want to inform our family and friends so you guys can pray for us and the birth mothers and babies that we are told about. With that being said, we are being presented this week to a birth mother who is pretty far away. We were told so much information about the birth mother; her family, her thoughts, physical characteristics, hobbies, past and current living situations, how/where she grew up, and health information, as well as a little information that is known about the birth father. I was surprised about the amount of information that was given to us, but thankful. Even though the information at times is disturbing and honestly unnecessary as we aren't picky about what baby we will call ours, it's nice to be informed and to know that this case worker is thorough and has a relationship with this birth mother. We told the case worker that we were interested in being presented to this birth mother as possible adoptive parents. The birth mother had said that she was looking for a couple who couldn't have biological children, who were christian and would raise the child in a christian environment, and who would give the child opportunities to play sports growing up! Wow! We seem to have exactly what she's looking for as far as those things go! As I said before, many profiles will be given to her to pick from, probably between 15-20. It's easy to get excited and to think about what if this will be our baby, but we understand the situation and the process and take comfort in knowing that if God has chosen this baby for us, it will happen, but if not, it won't.
We are learning more than ever how to trust and be faithful and that, as cliche as it sounds, God really is in control. I know I say it in about every post, but we have to cling to that reality right now. I am the kind of girl who likes to have everything planned out, at least the important things anyway. Money, nursery furniture and design, clothes, supplies, etc...everything that needed to be would be prepared before baby got here if I were pregnant and had my say! (I know even with pregnancy things don't always go as planned, but you get what I mean!) With adoption, it's not always that way. IF this particular situation were to be a match, there are a lot of things we have to figure out. The fees this adoption will cost is more than what we had originally anticipated. When thinking about a timeline of adoption fees and normal bills and when our next paychecks will arrive, it's hard not to get worried. We are also looking at a LOT of travel expenses as far as airline tickets there and back (with baby items to check), and food and lodging for up to 2 weeks! We also understand that there is a possibility for the birth mother to change her mind after we are there, meaning a lot of money for airline tickets and broken hearts if we returned without a baby. Not to mention the cost of baby stuff that we don't have yet. It's been suggested to us and we've chosen not to buy anything for baby yet due to not knowing when we will have a baby, whether it will be a he or a she, etc. We discussed going ahead and getting a crib, dresser, and rocker to at least have that here when we get home, but at this time it looks like we need to keep all money we can in our account to cover adoption fees and travel expenses. Aside from expenses, we need to figure out a lot of other things. For example, how to stay in a hotel with a newborn for 2 weeks and then how to fly home with an infant! (If anyone has any tips, we're open to hearing them! :) )We are also faced with being away from our jobs for a long while (but not knowing when that might be) and preparing for our students to be taken care of while we're gone! There are so many things we'd like to prepare now, but can't. When I start thinking about some of these things I feel silly, like I'm getting way ahead of myself since we don't yet have a baby. But at the same time we are expecting at some point and I feel so far behind!
Yes, this is a lot of personal stuff to share. It's so easy to get overwhelmed and worried about the future, especially when you're used to planning the important things ahead of time! But I am finding more and more that God is teaching us and reassuring us each and every day. While all of the unknowns are scary and seem like such big things, God really is giving us a peace about them. They are all such small things for Him. We know that when the situation is right, we need to follow and trust that He will work all things out for His glory.
Thank you, again, for your support! Your prayers mean so much to us! Continue to pray for the birth mothers, and specifically this one, who is deciding in the weeks to come who she would like to raise a child she is carrying. Pray for God to give us wisdom and guidance during this time as we make important and often difficult decisions about the adoption and the future. Pray that we are faithful to trust and follow through each step of this journey.
Since then, we're waiting. Some of you have asked about the process at this point, and what exactly we're waiting for. One of our agencies will call us when they have an "available situation" that they think we are a good match for. The other agency has a password protected web page that we were told to check. When they have available situations they post the race and gender (if known) of the baby, and the due date and fees that apply with each situation. If we are interested, we contact the case worker for more details and decide if we would like to be presented to the birth mother. In both cases, the birth mothers look at portfolios from different families and makes a decision about who she would like to adopt the child. (Both of our agencies right now have a large number of families waiting to adopt and have not had many birth mothers at this time.) When the birth mother makes a decision we will get a call to let us know if we have or haven't been picked. If we are picked a phone conversation is arranged between us and the birth mother and the rest of the journey goes from there.
Waiting is hard. Especially in the case of the one agency when I have the ability to check and see if there is anything on the web page. I put a shortcut on the home screen of my phone to make it easier, which of course means I push the button about 10 times per minute it feels like! Until Saturday, nothing at all had be posted there.
We have been presented with some options that we have decided to decline. This sounds crazy because we are very anxious and want to be presented to as many birth moms as possible! We are extremely flexible and open to most situations that may come available, but there are a few details that we just aren't comfortable with. We want to be careful. We are praying constantly to follow God's plan for us during this time. We want to be sure to not turn away and be closed off to something just because it's not perfectly comfortable for us. We've learned that God often calls us out of our comfort zone for His purposes! We don't want to be disobedient to something He is calling us to. However, we also don't want to jump into a situation that isn't right for us and our family simply because we are anxious and impatient. We want to make sure that the future will be stable and safe for baby. We are praying for God's direction when we make these extremely difficult decisions and trust that He knows the plans He has for us. We just want to be faithful to follow where He leads.
I hesitate to say publicly when we are being presented just because there are MANY people being presented to the same birth mother. It's easy to get our hopes up and get excited about even the smallest possibility. But we want to inform our family and friends so you guys can pray for us and the birth mothers and babies that we are told about. With that being said, we are being presented this week to a birth mother who is pretty far away. We were told so much information about the birth mother; her family, her thoughts, physical characteristics, hobbies, past and current living situations, how/where she grew up, and health information, as well as a little information that is known about the birth father. I was surprised about the amount of information that was given to us, but thankful. Even though the information at times is disturbing and honestly unnecessary as we aren't picky about what baby we will call ours, it's nice to be informed and to know that this case worker is thorough and has a relationship with this birth mother. We told the case worker that we were interested in being presented to this birth mother as possible adoptive parents. The birth mother had said that she was looking for a couple who couldn't have biological children, who were christian and would raise the child in a christian environment, and who would give the child opportunities to play sports growing up! Wow! We seem to have exactly what she's looking for as far as those things go! As I said before, many profiles will be given to her to pick from, probably between 15-20. It's easy to get excited and to think about what if this will be our baby, but we understand the situation and the process and take comfort in knowing that if God has chosen this baby for us, it will happen, but if not, it won't.
We are learning more than ever how to trust and be faithful and that, as cliche as it sounds, God really is in control. I know I say it in about every post, but we have to cling to that reality right now. I am the kind of girl who likes to have everything planned out, at least the important things anyway. Money, nursery furniture and design, clothes, supplies, etc...everything that needed to be would be prepared before baby got here if I were pregnant and had my say! (I know even with pregnancy things don't always go as planned, but you get what I mean!) With adoption, it's not always that way. IF this particular situation were to be a match, there are a lot of things we have to figure out. The fees this adoption will cost is more than what we had originally anticipated. When thinking about a timeline of adoption fees and normal bills and when our next paychecks will arrive, it's hard not to get worried. We are also looking at a LOT of travel expenses as far as airline tickets there and back (with baby items to check), and food and lodging for up to 2 weeks! We also understand that there is a possibility for the birth mother to change her mind after we are there, meaning a lot of money for airline tickets and broken hearts if we returned without a baby. Not to mention the cost of baby stuff that we don't have yet. It's been suggested to us and we've chosen not to buy anything for baby yet due to not knowing when we will have a baby, whether it will be a he or a she, etc. We discussed going ahead and getting a crib, dresser, and rocker to at least have that here when we get home, but at this time it looks like we need to keep all money we can in our account to cover adoption fees and travel expenses. Aside from expenses, we need to figure out a lot of other things. For example, how to stay in a hotel with a newborn for 2 weeks and then how to fly home with an infant! (If anyone has any tips, we're open to hearing them! :) )We are also faced with being away from our jobs for a long while (but not knowing when that might be) and preparing for our students to be taken care of while we're gone! There are so many things we'd like to prepare now, but can't. When I start thinking about some of these things I feel silly, like I'm getting way ahead of myself since we don't yet have a baby. But at the same time we are expecting at some point and I feel so far behind!
Yes, this is a lot of personal stuff to share. It's so easy to get overwhelmed and worried about the future, especially when you're used to planning the important things ahead of time! But I am finding more and more that God is teaching us and reassuring us each and every day. While all of the unknowns are scary and seem like such big things, God really is giving us a peace about them. They are all such small things for Him. We know that when the situation is right, we need to follow and trust that He will work all things out for His glory.
Thank you, again, for your support! Your prayers mean so much to us! Continue to pray for the birth mothers, and specifically this one, who is deciding in the weeks to come who she would like to raise a child she is carrying. Pray for God to give us wisdom and guidance during this time as we make important and often difficult decisions about the adoption and the future. Pray that we are faithful to trust and follow through each step of this journey.
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